Uniquely Singapore : Bad service? Nahhh... Good Service that just falls way short of the mark

You can't make this shit up...

let me tell you a little story.

I moved back to Singapore after 6 years in London one of the first things I had to do was shop for a mobile phone, had to get connected, stay connected .. you know that sort of thing. Now, instead of heading to one of the bigger retailers staffed by the usual gang of bright eyed but usually incredibly thick yewts, i decided to keep it at the grassroots level and try a neighbourhood purveyor of mobile tech. A brief walk around a local hood' and i finally located a suitable mobile phone shop, It met all the criteria :

1. On the second floor by the public lavatories
2. Exclusively lit by fluorescent tubes
3. Staffed by the most bored looking people in the world.

I walked in, chose a phone and paid for it, did all the registration bits, etc, job done, and really it could have just ended there and then.

About to turn to walk out.

" so can i intelest you in some s-sessories?"

OOOoooooooooooohhhh ... he piqued my interest, Mmmmmmm s-sessories you say...

"Yes. actually i would like a car charger please "

Laconically, ( let's give the dear boy a name... marcus ) Marcus looks across at a tiny rack with boxes and packets hanging off of it and studies it carefully..."car charger..car charger"... he mutters to himself... and after about 30 seconds ( a long time mind you , if you think About it ) he declares with some confidence.. "



" Don't have "



the fact that both the rack and the boxes bore the brand NOKIA, and the fact that i had , yes indeed purchased a Panasonic .. was lost on him.. but never mind... i retreat, to the entrance..

" wait wait" punches speaker phone on, dials number, phone rings

and rings

and rings

( the phone rang for as long as phones were allowed to ring )

Dead tone

2 minutes of my life down the toilet as we both stare wordlessly at the phone.



" Wait wait"

Punches speaker phone on, dials, what i presume was a different number and..

ring

Oh! someone picks up, Sharp exchange in Hokkien, some Hemming and hawing, urms and ahs, furrowed brow, the works ...and then punches the speaker phone off and...



" NO stock"




I retreat to the entrance ( yes i was retreating, i did not turn around to leave , i was walking backwards )

"You want COSMO?"

Cosmo? what was that? Was this finally it? The rapture ? Space ? Do I want Cosmo?

Hell! i do.. but.

" What is cosmo ?" i ask meekly..

" COSMo is give you one s-tra betterley, des charger and reder case...."

Now i am normally not one for 3rd party products, but i felt we had reached some sort of tipping point. Dear marcus was indeed trying his level best to sell me s-ssories and i felt compelled to help him see his mission through...

" Only egg-ty egg lollar, if you by seplately, is more than hurrened."

"Yes i want cosmo" I flatly declare

Marcus proceeds to rummage in the lower reaches of the little display case ... shuffle shuffle, flip flip..


" Don't Have..:


AH.... yes i see....

At the detection of my slightly sharp intake of breath , Marcus:

" Squeen Plotecter"?
" Yes please"
" Also don't have"

I thanked marcus and sadly bid him farewell.

As i left i could see that he too was sad to see me leave.


So really , the man was doing his job, he tried his best, he was executing the set pieces perfectly.

Dear marcus i thank you for serving me that day, not only were you earnest, you also provided me with a great story that is now finally written down, and for those among you who know this story. Yes it is finally down for posterity, and Let's celebrate!

Yay!

P.S Thanks to S. Paine for drawing the parallels with the Monty Python Cheese shop skit.